Thoughts.
1.24.2022
We are a blended family. When I hear this term, it creates a word picture for me.
I mean, smoothies are blended, margaritas are blended. Blending implies a pulverizing of ingredients beyond all recognition and mixed with other ingredients until it's, well, smooth.
I feel like we are more of a fancy parfait. Each layer of a parfait is noticeably different, and although the layers touch each other, they don't necessarily blend together.
We are made of lots of layers; some are smooth, some are nutty. The layers are sometimes sweet, sometimes salty. They can be smooth or even crunchy. Each person brings their own unique flavor, style and texture...
I for one, love parfaits and generally pass on the smoothie option most days. Creating an artful, beautiful, and delicious parfait is way more time consuming and way less convenient than a smoothie... however, I prefer the parfait - all day, every day and twice on Sunday.
If there is one thing I know about this beautiful creation of a family, it's that I wouldn't change a thing about "us" and I love every single layer.
I come to the river...lay my burdens down...gonna let it wash over me, til my peace can be found....
April 18, 2017 - Had an epiphany today...No matter how long it's been since you've experienced a train wreck - you will never not see it in your mind's eye, and you will never not feel it in your heart. The wounds can be staggering and they are always life-altering. Some wounds are still very much in sight - others are hidden but still tender to the touch.
Be kind and generous - for you never know what kind of wreckage a person is living through.
9.3.23
It’s hard to know where to begin explaining the experience I had the other evening in my prayer time, before bed. I was reflecting on a YouTube video I recently watched featuring the author, Paul Young and ever since watching that, my brain and my heart have been trying to absorb what he was explaining.
God is in me. I am in God. All of the attributes that make up our Creator God – are also within our very selves. There is so much to unpack in that thought alone – and that’s where I started from when talking to Abba the other night.
I asked Him, who are You to me and who am I to You? How do I get to know You better? Knowing that I needed a very personal answer, our precious Father whispered to me and said, “I am your Parent. You are my child. I am a good parent. You are a wanted child, who is loved well by Me.” At that moment tears began to stream down my face as I began – which felt like the very first time – to really get the truth of that statement.
As He went on, I envisioned a very pregnant woman – immediately I understood this to be both Mother and Father; this was Abba to me. This was not either of my earthly parents, but a young, vibrant and strong and beautiful mother to be – reflecting on the baby within her belly. She began to speak to me as she affectionately rubbed her belly. She said, “I have waited so long to see you. I am so excited and ready to see you on the earth.”
With a sense of motherly love and pride, she continued, “I know that this child will impact her world. She will walk with humility and confidence. She will get hurt over and over because she will absolutely love all those she meets and comes in contact with. She will fall deeply – hard and fast.” With a smile and tears in her eyes she went on, “This is the thing that I love most about her. And, she gets that from Me.”
At that point my heart exploded within my chest as I pondered what I was hearing, and the truth of His words filled my soul. I began to sob. A beautiful sense of peace, love and warmth like I've never felt emanated all around me, and I knew that I would never be the same again.
All at once – I knew that not only is this true about me – but this is true about every single person ever conceived. He is our Heavenly Parent – he wanted us from the very beginning. You were always wanted, and you've never been unwanted.
March 20, 2017- Fear is the enemy of my soul; a thief that comes to steal, destroy and render me useless, powerless and paralyzed. I know that “perfect LOVE casts out fear.” That’s the kind of love I want. I want that perfect love to infuse courage within me and throw this fear right off the edge of the canyon inside my heart.